Is Your Persona Holding You Back From Love?
Why People Avoid The Truth In Relationships
Do You Believe What You See In Your Love Life?
Dating Discomfort Is Leading You To Love.
Stop Focusing On “Blocks” To Love So You Can Really Find Your Partner
They Laughed At My Dreams, But I Didn’t Let That Stop Me.
Is The Crumb-Grabber In You Controlling Your Love Life?
Why People Lie In Relationships
Should A Woman Pursue A Man If He Doesn’t Call?
Do You Draw Your Self-Esteem From Others?
There Are No Mistakes In True Love
What Stops You From Being Your Best?
The Treasure In Obstacles On Your Path To Love
What I Want In A Man
Can A Middle-Aged White Guy Be A Feminist?
This is What Dating an Alcoholic is Like
Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating
Sex and the Sober Girl
We've been together for a year and a half now and we're as in love as we were in the beginning...but now we have a HISTORY. We know each other to be reliable and trustworthy because we've had over a year to demonstrate these traits. It's obvious that this is a RELATIONSHIP and not a shallow fling to be abandoned when the next shiny new thing comes along because, well, we've been together a while and weathered some storms. We feel strong and connected enough that one of us lusting after someone else is just not that scary anymore.
...And a month or so ago, I made out with someone else for the first time. It was fun, my makeout partner fully understood the situation and was good with it, and when I got home my boyfriend was ABSOLUTELY FINE.
More...
Posted by perversecowgirl on August 13, 2011 at 11:37 PM · Report
20
I just noticed this key point from the original post:
Time passes, and Pat feels attracted to other people. However, because of the agreement, Pat doesn't act on the feelings or tell Chris about them."
So we have a cautionary tale a relationship in which at least one person is hiding relevant information from the other, and we're blaming the breakup on the RELATIONSHIP STYLE and not the dishonesty?
The problem is not that this couple approached polyamory via the wrong route; it's that they lack the honesty and communication skills to be poly in the first place! OR monogamous, for that matter - concealing information that directly affects your relationship is all-around stupid and a great way to have everything blow up in your face later.
Posted by perversecowgirl on August 14, 2011 at 12:06 AM · Report
21
Oh my god, can I marry you?! These exact thoughts have been rattling in my brain lately, and you're the first person I've heard talk about it. I have so many friends who are into the idea of an open relationship, who admit that monogamy might not be the best long-term strategy, but are too scared to actually dive in. They say, "Oh I'll just worry about that down the line," and go about looking for monogamous partners.
Why People Avoid The Truth In Relationships
Do You Believe What You See In Your Love Life?
Dating Discomfort Is Leading You To Love.
Stop Focusing On “Blocks” To Love So You Can Really Find Your Partner
They Laughed At My Dreams, But I Didn’t Let That Stop Me.
Is The Crumb-Grabber In You Controlling Your Love Life?
Why People Lie In Relationships
Should A Woman Pursue A Man If He Doesn’t Call?
Do You Draw Your Self-Esteem From Others?
There Are No Mistakes In True Love
What Stops You From Being Your Best?
The Treasure In Obstacles On Your Path To Love
What I Want In A Man
Can A Middle-Aged White Guy Be A Feminist?
This is What Dating an Alcoholic is Like
Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating
Sex and the Sober Girl
We've been together for a year and a half now and we're as in love as we were in the beginning...but now we have a HISTORY. We know each other to be reliable and trustworthy because we've had over a year to demonstrate these traits. It's obvious that this is a RELATIONSHIP and not a shallow fling to be abandoned when the next shiny new thing comes along because, well, we've been together a while and weathered some storms. We feel strong and connected enough that one of us lusting after someone else is just not that scary anymore.
...And a month or so ago, I made out with someone else for the first time. It was fun, my makeout partner fully understood the situation and was good with it, and when I got home my boyfriend was ABSOLUTELY FINE.
More...
Posted by perversecowgirl on August 13, 2011 at 11:37 PM · Report
20
I just noticed this key point from the original post:
Time passes, and Pat feels attracted to other people. However, because of the agreement, Pat doesn't act on the feelings or tell Chris about them."
So we have a cautionary tale a relationship in which at least one person is hiding relevant information from the other, and we're blaming the breakup on the RELATIONSHIP STYLE and not the dishonesty?
The problem is not that this couple approached polyamory via the wrong route; it's that they lack the honesty and communication skills to be poly in the first place! OR monogamous, for that matter - concealing information that directly affects your relationship is all-around stupid and a great way to have everything blow up in your face later.
Posted by perversecowgirl on August 14, 2011 at 12:06 AM · Report
21
Oh my god, can I marry you?! These exact thoughts have been rattling in my brain lately, and you're the first person I've heard talk about it. I have so many friends who are into the idea of an open relationship, who admit that monogamy might not be the best long-term strategy, but are too scared to actually dive in. They say, "Oh I'll just worry about that down the line," and go about looking for monogamous partners.