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I don’t think it makes a woman looks anxious at all. I can’t even imagine where you get that opinion from. It makes her look interested, confident, unconventional, and someone not bound-up in rules, what other people say, or antiquated protocols.

Guys aren’t in love with this mythical chase. I don’t care how I end up on a date with a woman, who-asked-who won’t change how I treat her. Hmmm, actually it will. If she approached me, I’ll probably treat her better. For her to break convention means she’s quite interested, so I’m willing to invest more of my energy/time/money because I feel it’s less likely to be wasted. And her action will make me more interested because demonstrating that much confidence and that free-thinking a person makes her more interesting.

Why wouldn’t a guy ask you out? Depends upon his experiences. Depends how heavily flirty you were being, and how clueless he is. Maybe you thought you guys were flirting, and he thought you were just being polite and friendly. I’ve certainly been in situations where it was hard to decide which it was, and sometimes I eventually discovered it was one way or the other. Sure, if she’s very heavily flirting then it becomes obvious, but some women aren’t so obvious. And yes, some guys won’t ask you out due to a lack of confidence. If you feel that any guy like that would make a terrible life partner, well, okay, then don’t approach men. I know there’s an awful lot of unconfident women out there. I guess they’d all be terrible life partners too?

Yes, some guys wouldn’t like being approached. Do you want a guy that is potentially macho, old-fashioned, sexist, or whatever? Then don’t approach men. If you’re equally ok with an old-fashioned vs unconventional man, ok, if the one you ask is old-fashioned, it may not work out. But if he wasn’t asking you anyway, you’ve lost nothing.

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